Developmental Stages of Young People: Part Two

DECISION MAKING FOR THE SHORT TERM AND THE FUTURE

Adolescents typically start to understand the consequences of different actions by about age 13 or 14. At this age they also are increasingly considering who they are in the world. As they age, adolescents mature in their ability to think through problems on their own. By the time people are close to 17 or 18 years old, they are both excited and scared to be on their own.

Tips for interacting with your mentee:

·        Encourage her to take responsibility for her actions.

·        Help him make good choices, like getting his homework done before you do a fun activity together.

·        Suggest that your mentee break planning and decision making down into a series of steps.

·        Ask questions that highlight the positive results of good decisions and the unpleasant consequences of poor planning.

·        Listen carefully without criticizing.

·        Listen to you Mentee’s thoughts about the future.

·        Support and respect his decisions.

·        Offer ideas about what you think she might like to do or be good at.

·        Find other mentors who can help direct his choices.

·        Share your own excitement about the world and its possibilities.

*Look for part three next week.

Reprinted with permission from Search Institute®.  From Mentoring for Meaningful Results: Asset-Building Tips, Tools, and Activities for Youth and Adults. Copyright © 2008 Search Institute, Minneapolis, MN; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.

For more information on Kids 'n Kinship mentoring program in Dakota County, go to www.kidsnkinship.org

Developmental Stages of Young People: Part One

You may feel as if it wasn’t all that long ago that you yourself were taking that roller-coaster ride through adolescence. If you’re a peer mentor, you still may be going through adolescence yourself. Or maybe you’re an adult mentor with children who have gone through or are currently going through adolescence. No matter what your level of experience is with young people, it helps to understand a little more about typical changes that happen to them as they approach and go through different stages. This helps you identify normal behaviors in your mentee and better equips you to react to them.

Below is a summary of typical developmental experiences of young people at different ages, as well as some tips for helping your mentee thrive during these critical developmental changes.

APPEARANCES AND SELF-IMAGE

By the time young people are between the ages of 10 and 12, they are well into puberty. As they age, they may worry about personal traits that are vital to them, but are hardly noticeable to others.

Young people also go through emotional changes that impact their self-image. By the time they are between the ages of 13 and 16, they will likely experience emotional extremes, from being happy to feeling sad or from thinking they are smart to believing they are dumb. They may want both to fit in with the crowd while at the same time stand out and be special. It is normal to see these kinds of emotional extremes continue well into their teen years as they take on more independence and make more decisions for themselves.

Tips for interacting with your mentee:
·        Be sensitive to how she feels about her body or other issues.
·        Acknowledge feelings, positive traits and abilities, and help him recognize his own genuine worth.
·        Make sure your mentee knows how important she is to you. Don’t assume she knows.
·        Bolster his self-confidence by emphasizing independent choice, encouraging self-respect, and recognizing  positive behavior.
·        Find out what your mentee loves learning about or what she’s interested in studying.

Reprinted with permission from Search Institute®.  From Mentoring for Meaningful Results: Asset-Building Tips, Tools, and Activities for Youth and Adults. Copyright © 2008 Search Institute, Minneapolis, MN; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.

Thank Your Mentor Day

Take a moment to think about who cared for you when you were growing up.  Was it a teacher?  A coach?  A caring neighbor? Perhaps an uncle or aunt?  Or a grandparent? Every child needs at least one caring adult to help them navigate the murky waters of childhood and the teen years.  Who helped you by believing in you?  Cheering you on in your sports or hobbies, encouraging you to work hard at school, letting you know that you matter and that you can achieve your goals in life.  I remember a kind older lady who lived down the street who always came over at Christmas and who just spent time with us when my brother & I were kids.  I also remember several teachers at school and instructors in my hobbies/sports who made a special effort to let me know they saw potential in me.  Without them I wouldn't be who I am today.

Who was your mentor? Have you ever thanked them for being so supportive of you? Now's your chance!  Thursday January 16th is National Thank Your Mentor Day.  

Think about the mentors in your life, send them a thank you card (scroll down to 3rd row to download & print) and tell them thank you on social media using #SomeoneWhoMatters. For more information on this initiative and National Mentoring Month - go to http://www.nationalmentoringmonth.org/

To become a mentor to youth in Dakota County, attend an information session on Thursday Jan. 23rd, 6-6:45 pm at Burnhaven Library in Burnsville. Learn more about Kids 'n Kinship, the local mentoring program serving youth in Apple Valley, Burnsville, Eagan, Farmington, Lakeville, & Rosemount for over 40 years: www.kidsnkinship.org 

January is National Mentoring Month!

January 2014 is the 13th Annual National Mentoring Month.  Today, January 9th, is National I am A Mentor Day.  All across the country people are recognizing the important role mentors play in the success of our nation's youth.  Every day, mentors in communities across our nation provide crucial support and guidance to young people. Whether a day is spent helping with homework, playing catch or listening, these moments can have an enormous, lasting effect on a child’s life. You don’t need special skills to be a mentor. You just need to listen, show that you care and share your experience.

Do you remember being mentored unofficially or officially as a child?  Thank your mentor on National Thank Your Mentor day, Thursday January 16th.  For more information on National Mentoring Month, go to: http://www.mpmn.org/Events/NationalMentoringMonth.aspx

Make a difference to a child, consider becoming a mentor to a youth in Dakota County through Kids ‘n Kinship! We are a local non-profit organization that matches kids ages 5-16 with volunteer mentors for fun and engaging weekly activities in the community. In addition to the community-based program, Kids ‘n Kinship offers school-based mentoring programs at Glacier Hills and Thomas Lake Elementary Schools in Eagan, Westview Elementary in Apple Valley, and Parkview Elementary in Rosemount.

Research has shown that when matched through a quality mentoring program, mentors can play a powerful role in providing young people with the tools to make responsible decisions, stay focused and engaged in school, and reduce or avoid risky behavior like skipping school, drug use and other negative activities. Quality mentoring relationships lead to a significant increase in a young person’s prospects for leading a healthy and productive life, strengthening families and, ultimately, our community.

All of these factors are encompassed in this year's theme Mentoring Works! Additionally, a study done by Science Daily found that for all teen students, having an adult mentor meant a 50 percent greater likelihood of attending college. After more than 41 years of serving children in Apple Valley, Burnsville, Eagan, Farmington, Lakeville and Rosemount, Kids ‘n Kinship has many success stories. 

Here's a few testimonials: 

“My son’s mentor is very supportive and is a great role model.  I see my son looking up to him and he is doing better in school this year” - Parent

“[Her mentor] has really made a difference in [my daughter’s] life, I’m so grateful to her!  She ‘gets’ her,” - Parent

“Our personalities are so similar, she’s just like me when I was that age.” - Mentor

“My mentee is an amazing young woman, I am really proud of her - she has a good perspective and is set to graduate this spring.”  - Mentor

“She is delightful and fun to be with!  I’m enjoy her immensely…she’s just a riot, she’s very funny!” - Mentor

“[He] has started out the school year with the most positive attitude he has ever had!” - Parent

“She is a sweet girl with a loving heart.  In addition to meeting at school, we like to bake, and do crafts in the winter.  We enjoy riding bike together during the summer and just being outside.” - School-Based Mentor

For more success stories and to read about how to started with Kids 'n Kinship, go to our website: www.kidsnkinship.org

Consider attending an information session to hear more!  Our next one is Thurs. Jan. 23rd, 6-6:45 pm - Burnhaven Library in Burnsville.  RSVP to Ingrid Henry 952-891-3885