Enjoy sports and being outdoors? Share them with a boy in your community!

Below is a profile for one of the almost 50 children waiting for a friend right here in Dakota County.  Chips is typical of the boys in our program in that he lives with his mom, has little if any contact with his dad, and is desperate for a chance to get outside and do guy stuff with someone.  Could that someone be you?  Please consider befriending a boy through Kids 'n Kinship!  We provide orientation, training, and on-going support and all it takes is an hour or two a week of doing what you already do (i.e. going to parks, sports, grilling, working on the car, landscaping, etc.) with a boy this summer.

First name:  Chips
Age:  9
Interests:  Chips likes playing basketball, football, and baseball as well as skateboarding, swimming, & bowling.
Personality/Characteristics:  He is active and eager to go places and spend time outside this summer.  He lives with his single parent mom and his younger brother. Chips is in 3rd grade and likes math in school.  
Goals/Dreams:  His wish is for a mentor who can take him places and have fun with him
Looking For:  He and his mom would like a male mentor or couple who can meet with him, getting together for outdoor activities, sports, and games.
For More Information: Chips is one of almost 50 children waiting for a mentor through Kids ‘n Kinship, a private nonprofit serving Apple Valley, Burnsville, Eagan, Farmington, Lakeville and Rosemount in Dakota County for 40 years. If you're interested in becoming a mentor, you're invited to attend an information session from 6:00 to 6:45 p.m. Tuesday June 12th at the Wescott Library in Eagan. Mentors can volunteer as individuals, couples, or families for weekly fun and enriching activities at home or in the community on their own schedules. Contact us at 952-892-6368 or go to our website www.kidsnkinship.org.

Guest Blog: A little fun makes a world of difference

Ten years ago I read a newspaper article that articulated the benefit mentoring can provide to children needing a role model/friend; benefits such as an improved self worth, a greater likelihood of staying in school and staying out of trouble......and simply spending some time having fun.  It took a couple of years to get me motivated, but the article eventually inspired me to contact Dakota County based Kids 'n Kinship, learn the process of becoming a mentor, and then becoming one.

For me, it was a life changing experience.  My initial concern of committing time to meet with the 11 year old boy I was matched with once a week quickly evaporated with the good times we had together.  Our activities included bowling, shooting pool, cooking out on the grill, board games, movies and biking.  As he matured, I taught him to play racquetball and cribbage--he is now 19 years old, and beats me regularly at both.  A mentor's role is to be a role model, and a friend, to offer encouragement, and to be nonjudgmental.  In addition to being there for him, he was there for me.  I wouldn't understand half of the features that that today's electronic gadgetry offered if he wasn't there to teach me.  

Along with several companions, I created and have ridden the Merchants Bank Christian Elder Memorial 900 each of the past six years.  The ride, a memorial to my son Christian Elder, is ridden as a benefit to Kids 'n Kinship.  We embark on our seventh Christian Elder Memorial 900 on May 24.  Those interested in following our bicycling adventure are invited to check out our Road Diary on the website http://www.cem900.com./

Tonight I'm spending some time with my friend.  I am no longer his formal mentor; he has his own apartment living in Minneapolis.  I treasure the time spent with him as a youngster, as a teenager, and finally as a young adult.  My only concern for this evening is which one of us will win at cribbage..........

- John Elder, ambassador & former mentor with Kids 'n Kinship

Kids ‘n Kinship is celebrating 40 years serving the community!

2012 is the 40^th year Kids ‘n Kinship has served children and families in Apple Valley, Burnsville, Eagan, Farmington, Lakeville, & Rosemount. We will be celebrating this impressive milestone for a non-profit organization with a special gala and fundraiser in September and the planning meetings have begun! Our first meeting started with the question, “how would you describe in one sentence how Kids ‘n Kinship improves the world?" Our committee had some great suggestions, referring to the importance of relationships, especially mentoring ones for the next generation, as well as connection to one’s community in mitigating the effects of our fast-paced, gadget-filled, yet lonely lifestyle. Too many children spend their time at home, alone, facing a TV or computer screen. Too many adults do too!

The power of face-to-face connection with other people cannot be forgotten! And this is what Kids ‘n Kinship does best! To a young person, having a mentor is like getting the water and sunshine needed to grow a seed into a tree. A child needs members of their family, whether biological or not, as roots, the good soil of their community and school, and people who believe in them (mentors, coaches, teachers, etc.) to provide the water and sun to encourage them. Kids ‘n Kinship mentors help our community by nurturing children, assisting those seeds’ journey as they grow into trees. Kids ‘n Kinship is about growing our community through relationships. Be a friend. Be a mentor. Go to www.kidsnkinship.org today to get started.

Spring is here: it's a great time to be a friend to a child!

With the new grass, the buds on the trees, and the year's first Daffodils, spring has arrived!  And spring is a great time of year to get started in mentoring!  Kids ‘n Kinship matches youth with adult mentors (individuals, couples, and families) for meaningful, enjoyable, and enriching in-person interactions such as planting a garden, throwing a football, taking cooking classes, or going to a museum, zoo, play, or sports event. Youth get an opportunity to go places, to try new things, to build on their interests and hobbies. They learn how to build a friendship, get help with homework, are encouraged to pursue their dreams and are given the tools and resources to make those dreams a reality. Don’t get me wrong, mentoring isn’t always easy or fun – sometimes there are tremendous challenges in building the trust and bond crucial to a successful mentoring match. Mentors must be patient and persistent. Youth have to want the mentoring relationships. Parents have to help support the relationship and keep communication lines open. But it’s so worth it. Few factors are so notable in a child’s ability to develop the resiliency needed to overcome the struggles of life as a teenager in today’s world as having an extra caring supportive adult in their life.   

Be a friend. Be a mentor. Go to www.kidsnkinship.org today to get started.

I Am A Mentor Day is TODAY!

In honor of "I am a Mentor" Day and January being National Mentoring Month, I am sharing about my own mentoring relationship.

 

The first time I met with Adrianna, the 8 year old girl I had just chosen to mentor, we watched a movie together and she played with my dog.  We shared about our common interests: our love of animals, dancing, music, & movies. Now, 3 years later, we still enjoy hanging out with my pets and watching movies, as well as going to plays and concerts.  I've been to her dance performances and to special person day at her school.  We've read together and done some fun math puzzles like sudoku.  We enjoy theater performances put on by local companies, especially those with children as the actors. We've been to several MN Twins games and one Saints game, even a Cheetah Girls concert.  We even had fun raking the leaves and jumping in the piles with my dog. While the activities have been fun, some of what I remember most is our conversations.  Like the time we talked about the upcoming presidential election and she learned that you shouldn't always believe what you hear (especially about famous people!).  Or the time she asked me whether she should be a veterinarian or a soldier.  While she has a loving mom and grandma, I know it helps her to know I care for her too and will be there for her whatever the ups and downs in her life. 

 

Would you consider becoming a friend to a child?  The children in this program, Kids 'n Kinship, are children in need of an additional positive role model.  They can be anywhere from 5-16 years old and live in Apple Valley, Burnsville, Eagan, Farmington, Lakeville or Rosemount.  Mentors meet with their mentee weekly on average for fun and enriching activities but they don't have to be a strain on your budget.  Kids 'n Kinship encourages inexpensive everyday activities and has free tickets and passes to big events like sports games, theater, & concerts as well as local museums & the zoo.  Also people worry about the time commitment, but think about the time you spend on the computer or watching TV each week.  Instead spend that time having fun with a kid, possibly doing your hobbies or just being outdoors.  Check out http://www.kidsnkinship.org/ or ask me any questions about mentoring.  There are about 50 kids waiting right now for a mentor, could it be you?

Assessing A Child's Readiness for a Mentor Guest blog by Rita

Hello all –thanks Ingrid, for letting me use some space in your blog J 

I met with representatives of mentoring programs serving Minnesota, North Dakota and Wisconsin.  Among many topics, our discussion included the question of how to tell when a child or teen is ready and able to form a meaningful mentor relationship.

It has been my experience that a child or teen who has faced violence or abuse, who has a physical or mental health diagnosis, developmental or cognitive disorder, or who has been bullied or faced lots of life changes can certainly connect with and benefit greatly from a mentor match. How the child and the child’s family have worked with the issue is important.  Timing is also important.  The issue may be current, ongoing, recent or have occurred years ago.  Sometimes it is appropriate to suggest the parent or guardian seek therapy or medical support to help their child address issues before they are ready to begin a mentor relationship.  This can be difficult because the child may really want a mentor - now.

Communication with the child and the family is critical. Listening to the family’s and child’s needs opens the door. We all have the same goal of supporting the child. As we get to know families and the child who is seeking a mentor, carefully thought out questions help us gather important information.  Learning the background and current circumstances is helpful. Traditional, information-seeking questions are great (i.e. does your child have a diagnosis, why does your child need a mentor). Asking a child what they could teach someone might reveal a lot about interests, self-esteem, and creativity. Asking a child who their friends are and what they do with their friends can let us know if they have similar-aged friends, if they make good choices in those friends, and if the activities are constructive or dangerous.  We learn if forming friendships is easy or difficult for them and if they have a few or many friends and if friends are near their home or mostly at school.  Asking about favorite activities or what they would like to learn to do, also results in useful information about that child. Kids usually love to share about themselves and the right questions can give us a good picture.

If a child is occupied by an issue in their life that has not been addressed, it may not be the time to start a new relationship.  If a family or child is not addressing physical or mental health diagnosis or other life challenges, it is difficult to get a mentor relationship started in a healthy way.  Fortunately most mentor programs are very involved in the community and can help families get connected with appropriate resources.

We know that long term mentoring is most beneficial (Child Trends, Public Private Ventures, Search Institute, and others have published support research) and a long term relationship begins with a solid foundation. This is why it is crucial that a child or teen is ready and able to form a meaningful relationship before they are matched with their mentor.

Mentors need to be ready also – but that topic is another day, another blog.

- Rita Younger, Program Coordinator - Kids 'n Kinship

Volunteer Motivation

Why do people volunteer?  When we ask our potential mentors this question, there are typically two types of responses: an altruistic desire to help others (i.e. make a difference in the life of child, support a teenager, etc.) and/or a recognition that volunteering is also good for oneself (i.e. that it feels good to volunteer and to help others, that it would get the volunteer out to do activities, meet people, etc.).  While both of these responses are accurate, apparently the reasons for volunteering affect one’s benefits from the experience.

I recently read an interesting article about volunteer motivation.  The article states that people whose volunteer motivation is more to help others than to help themselves had more benefits to their own well-being than those whose motivation was more about helping themselves.  In fact, those whose primary motivation for volunteering was that it would be helpful to their own well-being did not have any better results in well-being than those who did not volunteer at all!   

Since volunteering to be a mentor to a child is volunteering in a relationship in which the volunteer is a supportive figure to the child (and not the reverse!), it’s especially important for prospective mentors to have other social supports.  Although there are certainly benefits to mentors in terms of having fun and feeling good about themselves for helping a child, our focus is on the mentor giving of themselves and supporting the child and any benefits to the mentor would be secondary.  Mentoring is such a potentially rewarding way to volunteer since the focus is on helping others, and yet most matches have fun together and our volunteers often say they receive more than they give!  Please check out our website www.kidsnkinship.org for more information on mentoring a child today!